Expiration Dates
On lost friendships, books about being single and skipping to the fun parts
I’ve been thinking about the dedication of Before We Were Innocent by Ella Berman (which i’m currently reading for book club)–
I had a similar dedication in mind for Novel 1, because it’s about these women trying to navigate the changes in their friendship as they’re growing up and figuring themselves out, and while I was writing it, I thought a lot about all the friendships I’ve had in my life and how some of them didn’t survive this process.
I just watched an episode of Sex and the City (sorry i’ll never not be talking about it, this episode is also one of my favorites) where Carrie says, “If you love someone, and you break up, where does the love go?”
And I don’t think the love is transferable, at least not with friendships. It just gets buried under scar tissue and every so often something reminds you of them and the love squeaks through to the surface and that never goes away completely.
Do you know what I mean?
What I’m Reading
I’m currently off my Kindle and back in my physical book era. I’m almost overwhelmed by the embarrassment of riches my library has been affording me. Though I’m afraid I have been overdoing it and may have to renew two books I’ve had since March for the second time…
Romancing Mr. Bridgerton by Julia Quinn - This one is Colin and Penelope’s love story, which will be featured in season 3 of Bridgerton. From the trailer, it looks like it will be completely different from the book! Which makes sense because a large part of the book is about the ton trying to figure out who Lady Whistledown is, and in the show, we already know who it is…
So there was a chunk of this story that felt tedious to get through and I did not have as much fun reading it as I did with An Offer from a Gentleman, but I did enjoy Colin and Penelope as a couple and I cannot believe I have to wait another month to see their season!!
I also didn’t expect this book to be about being a writer, but one of the main conflicts is that Colin is jealous of Penelope because she has this huge body of work and he has these travel journals that he’s too afraid to publish. These are truly real world problems!
Expiration Dates by Rebecca Serle - Since Daphne was twelve, every time she’s met a man who will have a significant presence in her life, she’ll receive a slip of paper with their name and a number telling her how much time they’ll spend together. When she meets Jake, his slip of paper has no number — does this mean he’s her person?
I loved this — such a fun take on dating and fate and figuring out what you want, and as always with Rebecca Serle, there were a few unexpected twists.
There was a lot in this book that I related to about the experience of being single, like—
I wonder if I’ll miss it, I think. The feeling of openness. The understanding, even buried down deep, that anything could happen. That I could bump into someone at an airport or in line at the pharmacy. That the man three stools over at the bar could be taking me home tonight. That the next great adventure was just a slip of paper away.
I also just love the way Rebecca Serle writes—
His face is open, his shirt is unbuttoned at the collar. He looks like a door I could walk right through. And I want to. I want to let myself in. I want to tell him, this new place, all the things he does not yet know.
Good Material by Dolly Alderton - The saga of a recently dumped, mid 30-something, mediocre standup comedian who’s working through a breakup. As with Dolly’s first novel, it’s funny and heartwarming and full of witty insight.
I’m normally not a fan of being in a male POV for an extended period of time (my mom accused me of hating men and like maybe i do, idk), but this man is a wanker who to a certain extent knows he needs to get over himself so it made him easier to swallow as a protagonist. You can’t help but invest in a wounded animal. Dolly also gifts the reader a very well-timed POV change toward the end of the novel.
A sentiment similar to one I have in Novel 2—
This is exactly where I want to be—in the warm, cosy cocoon of nostalgia. Where I can be in the company of my teenage self and he can remind me of something about hope and youth and what it is to know you have things ahead of you that are new.
Another romantic exploration of free will vs. fate:
Meant to be Mine by Hannah Orenstein - I’ve mentioned this book before but it’s worth bringing up again— Edie’s grandmother has predicted the exact date that each member of their family will meet their soulmate. Months before Edie’s date approaches, she breaks up with her boyfriend, who she loves, knowing that he cannot be the one. When her date finally arrives, she meets a charming musician on a plane and accepts that he is her soulmate, for better and for worse.
Another book about the end of a relationship:
Out of Love by Hazel Hayes - This is a love story in reverse, starting with a couple’s breakup and gradually moving back in time through various points in their relationship all the way to its beginnings. It’s heartbreaking in a really cathartic way!
What I’m Writing
I’ve been kind of stuck on where to go next with these edits. Since I’m reordering some chapters, they require more editing and a few of them are just scenes I don’t feel like dealing with.
I did actually put the biggest story beats on index cards in the hopes that looking at them visually would unlock something for me. It was definitely a productive exercise, I made notes on the backs with things to add to the chapters I already have.
For some of the beats what I really need is more nuance, but I don’t have the patience to deal with them. At least… not in the order in which they happen because last week I remembered that I don’t actually have to edit everything in order (it certainly was not written in order)! I can do whatever I want!
So I took advice from a friend (hi, rebecca) and wrote this into a scene—
And you know what? I had a great time and am now deeply attached to it!
It’s also helped me figure out how to deal with flashbacks. I have these whole chapters that were so fun to write, but for the most part, if I removed them, you wouldn’t lose much, which means they probably shouldn’t be there and are doing more to eat up narrative space than to move the action and characters forward.
Coming to this decision has also perhaps been the thing preventing me from moving forward with edits…
This feels very vulnerable but here’s a snippet of the aforementioned scene—
There’s a kiss in the air, hovering between us. His hand lands on my forearm and I know we’re going to act on it. Here, on the sidewalk, in broad daylight, in my city. As I tense, he relaxes. Blood rushes in my ears. I take a step forward, hypnotized by his easy grin.
The last time we kissed I didn’t know it would be the last time. We’d just gotten out of the shower. He wrapped me in a towel, buried his nose in my neck and told me he loved the way his soap smelled on my skin. I knew he meant that he loved the idea that he could possess me. I was in love with him, and I think he knew that.
That’s all from me this week! Stay Tuned.