Half His Age
On sick brain TV, books about finding yourself and writing goals
Hello friends,
I’m at the tail-end of a cold that has gripped me for the last week. It’s the kind of cold where I felt like a helpless baby – pressure headache, runny nose, phlegmy cough, low energy. After my fourth day couch bound, I was on the verge of a breakdown. My apartment is still a mess but thankfully, my energy and brain are slowly coming back.
While my brain was in a sick cloud, I watched five episodes of a new Netflix dating show. It’s called Age of Attraction – the premise is that the singles can get to know each other, but they can’t know each other’s age. Once they feel like they click with someone, they go to the “promise room,” where they vow to date and live together, then they get to learn each other’s ages. It’s hosted by a very robotic Nick Vial and his wife, and it is fascinating! Some of these people are absolute aliens! But it also makes me feel better about my age and my choices? Which I think is always half the point of a reality show.
I also caught up on the reboot of Ladies of London, which is absolutely incredible so far – one of them used to be rich and now is living in a tiny flat with a magpie! Another quit the show in the middle of a confrontation because she did not want to own up to having talked about someone else behind their back! Half of them have very posh accents and my brain smooths just hearing them speak.
Other things I watched while I was sick–
wonder man (the latest marvel show – surprisingly fun and very LA!)
five minutes of the new season of mormon wives (the constant cuts to tiktok killed me)
one ep of a sorority mom’s guide to rush! (which also had too many tiktok cuts)
two episodes of stanley tucci’s new italy show (good!)
maid of honor (a true time capsule)
twilight new moon (perfect for a sick brain – i’m still furious no one thought to create a spin-off show focused on micheal sheen and the volturi)
in her shoes (a classic!!!!)
the edge of seventeen (as delightful as i remembered!)
Some Things–
darren star is making a new show set in napa about a winemaker called uncorked, aka my new favorite thing (and just in time since last season of emily in paris was a flop!!!)
LD’s new show, Life, Larry and the Pursuit of Unhappiness: An Almost History of America, is dropping this summer!
i’m gonna be honest… every time i see harry styles, a piece of my brain still sees the incel from don’t worry darling
my favorite part of the oscars was leo’s mustache and nicole kidman and ewan mcgregor singing moulin rouge
they also should have let barbara sing “the way we were” in its entirety during the in memoriam (i had already sobbed over diane keaton, i would not have been mad about crying more over “the way we were")
What I’m Reading
According to Goodreads, I’ve only read 11 books this year. On the one hand, that’s a lot of books! But on the other hand, it really is not! I am increasingly feeling like my brain isn’t what it used to be, and I don’t know if that’s because of the state of the world or because I’m in a rut.
I have two holds up from the library tho – one that has been compared to Daisy Jones. The other is kind of research for Novel 3. Also, I have this inner persistent nag that is wondering why I keep getting things from the library when I have a big, beautiful shelf full of things to read… send help!
Half His Age by Jennette McCurdy - Waldo is a listless high school senior desperate to feel something, settling for the high of online shopping and mediocre sexual encounters with her classmates, when she takes Mr. Korgy’s English class. She’s immediately taken with his passion for writing and throws herself into her assignments hoping that he’ll notice her. When he does, she pursues a relationship – he’s in his forties and married with a baby.
In some ways, this felt kind of like a teenage version of All Fours. There was so much of this that was hard to read – it was icky and cringe, often sad, but also funny! Waldo is so sure of some things but doesn’t know herself yet. I blew through the book because I needed to know what Waldo was gonna do (also the chapters are short, my fave)!
This–
I try to override it, to shove my body’s instincts down. Tell them to be more quiet. Be more right-sized. Be more appropriate and more reasonable and less of a nuisance. Only I can’t. And beyond that, I don’t want to. Because my body knows more than I do. My body’s instincts are loud. And they’re right. And they’re appropriate and reasonable and they are not a nuisance. They are wise. They are giving me all the information I need.
What I’m Listening to
The Daddy Diaries: The Year I Grew Up by Andy Cohen - I finished Andy’s latest year-in-the-life book. It was funny and silly. Mostly, he talked about being a dad, but he also talked a lot about the Housewives and this scam they’ve been dealing with for years where it looks like one of them is calling the other but it’s actually a scammer trying to hear what they’re saying. Honestly, Andy talking so much about his relationship with his son made me want kids even more (not at this moment, but you know, when the time comes), and I loved when he got real about being a single dad – it was kind of heartbreaking (but not too heartbreaking, he is andy cohen).
What I’m Writing
I’m having fun making up a new world! That world is still living in my Notes App as of now as I try to figure out what to do with what I’ve written previously. A lot of it I want to keep, but I’m still trying to figure out what points of view I’m writing from. I can’t decide who this story is actually about and if the most effective way to tell it is still the way I originally started writing it, which is with two main characters.
What I should do is open a new document and write forward and fix all the stuff I started with later. My fingers are itching to hit keys in a real, prolonged way, but for some reason I cannot leave my Notes App.
The fear again, probably, and the “what’s the point” demon that lives in the back of my brain.
I want to challenge myself to a writing goal for the next week – 500 words a day. It feels like an attainable goal that will also give way to momentum. I want to encourage myself to get to the place where I feel a spark on the page that makes me want to keep going! Once I’m there, I won’t really be able to help myself from writing. My brain just needs a lil jump start.
Three scenes I started recently–
one protagonist interviews the other (just dialogue, my fave lol)
a post interview checkin where the interviewee feels insecure and is looking for reasurance (this is when i was like okay… whose story is this? who should be the post interview POV and what is the other character’s place here and do we care??)
a scene on a plane (i think a new thing i love is writing plane scenes! we just gotta be in the protag’s head bc there is nowhere else to go!)
That’s all from me this week. Stay tuned!
I just finished The Future Saints and I really enjoyed it! I found it super readable, plus short chapters!!