The Day of the Locust
On existential turmoil, books about Los Angeles and a poetry journal
For me, the end of June was heralded not by a whisper, but a scream – my own, fueled by an existential crash out (as my friend erin would and did say upon hearing what befell me).
Remember that scene in Love Actually when Emma Thompson quietly confronts her husband about the necklace she found in his pocket that he did not give her come Christmas? And he’s like “I’ve been a classic fool,” and she’s like “Yeah, but you’ve made the life I lead foolish too!” – that is how the production of Hamlet at the Mark Taper Forum made me feel.
For those who have erased all memory of high school from their minds, Hamlet follows the titular prince who is grieving the loss of his father when the ghost of his father (DDL is so method that when he played hamlet at the national theater in london, he famously walked off stage never to return after seeing the ghost of his own deceased father….) appears to him alleging that Hamlet’s uncle Claudius (who married his father’s wife before he was cold in his grave), murdered him for the crown (and his whole life, really. he single white maled him). Hamlet’s grief demands revenge — he hatches a plot to feign madness in order to throw the Danish court off its guard so he can fuck some shit up.
The production I saw over the weekend (starring patrick ball of the pitt fame) had bad reviews that I did not read, and when the play began with Ophelia taking off her underwear so Hamlet could, for want of PG phrasing, go down on her, I thought – OH! The reviewers were prudes! I’m not opposed to a horny Hamlet! Let’s GO!
I proceeded to vibe with horny Hamlet, who we learn is not only hooking up with Ophelia but also Horatio, and the staging choices. During Hamlet’s soliloquies, the stage lights dimmed and the screen above the set’s grand staircase distorted as occasional lines were spouted through Patrick Ball’s previously recorded voiceover, like we were hearing his intrusive thoughts, party to his depression.
Then the production skips a couple key scenes – Polonius telling Laertes “To thine own self be true,” Polonius and Gertrude conspiring to find out what’s UP with Hamlet, which leads to Hamlet accidentally killing him where he hides, and most crucially, Ophelia’s descent into madness.
When we got to Ophelia’s burial (she kills herself), Laertes challenged our guy Ham to a duel and everyone except Horatio exited the stage and then…. there’s a bit of a record scratch moment when a man I recognized from bit parts on TV dressed in a trench coat steps out from the audience and in what can only be described as a Nathan Lane Gilded Age Accent asks some version of “WELL WHAT HAVE WE HERE???”
The play then becomes something like the movie Clue (for the record, a movie i LOVE), by which I mean a hammy whodunit complete with a coke snorting Claudius, who we’re told is actually the head of Elsinore Studios, and Hamlet is an overage film student who believes he’s in a Shakespeare play but is actually in a farce. It goes on and on, revisiting all the scenes that were cut in modern language, re-explaining everything we had just seen (at one point i leaned over to my friend meg and said, “i know! i was just there!” and also, “ophelia so bad for yourself”).
I looked around the theater feeling like I had gotten a lobotomy, watching half the audience laugh along with the new twist that I found jarring to say the least and like I was slapped in the face and spit on to say the most.
I’m totally down for reimaginings of Shakespeare, but when you begin a show with an interesting, mostly well-acted, faithful adaptation, and then proceed to, sorry, take a DUMP all over it, how else am I supposed to feel??
Like, am I the prude who can’t let go of tradition? Am I the idiot for loving Shakespeare and holding his words in esteem — sitting there in my seat getting chills every time I hear a phrase we use now because he invented it?
Am I having a mental breakdown???
This monstrosity pushed me so close to the edge of a cliff that I did something I never thought I’d do — I walked out of a live performance.
Theater gods, please forgive me.
Things I Loved in June
two really excellent caesar salads (one from the cheesecake factory; one from pizanna — the first was the platonic ideal, the second had crispy capers and huge, ripped-from-a-baguette croutons)
sauvignon blanc in the bathtub
a frozen marg in a solo cup with a salted rim
sunday afternoons at the movies
headphone-less walks
a pricey watermelon mint hydrating mist i got at my facialist’s because i deserve a treat
mrs. meyer’s plum berry soap
a luxuriously lined pair of clorox gloves i got for washing dishes (so i don’t chip my nails — remember when they used to make nail polish so strong that your at-home manicure would stay fresh for at least a week??)
a semi-cropped, long-sleeve chambray button-up from old navy (it’s so comfy, i wear it over tanks with jeans and embrace the canadian tuxedo)
Some Things
they’re re-adapting sense & sensibility starring daisy edgar jones and i’m kinda like…. why? ang lee’s was perfect
leo woodall is gonna be vladimir in the adaptation of vladimir (i’m begging you, please read vladimir!!!!!!)
i forgot how addicting scandal is — those photo shutter sound effects! fitz and olivia’s theme! he says, “what kind of coward was i not to wait for you,” i mean JESUS CHRIST! what else was the girl supposed to do!!!!! i also forgot how patriotic it is, lots of “leader of the free world,” and “serving your country” and “greatest country in the world” propaganda — though, in obama’s america it felt true! has anyone written a book or thesis on tv in the obama era? like scandal and the newsroom were contemporaries! and at that time (and still now), i was like PUMP that YAPPY sincerity INTO MY VEINS (and now we’re all broken LOL)!
it’s funny to rewatch shows set in “Connecticut” or “DC” now and so clearly recognize LA – like oh they’re just walking down the street of *insert city here* and i recognize a building or the parking signs or the trees or the mountains (my beloved city!!!)
What I’m Reading
I read six books in June–
Confess
Great Big Beautiful Life
Deep Cuts
The Day of the Locust
Another strong month (due partially to my vacation that wrapped up the first week of june)! I gave four stars to the last four books on this list, but I think the one that’s had the most lasting effect is Deep Cuts — partially because I can’t stop listening to “Someone Great,” “Heartbeats” and “What Makes You Think You’re the One,” which were all referenced in the novel.
The Day of the Locust by Nathaniel West - This is kind of a hangout novel. The main character, Tod, interacts with a bunch of capital C characters and they all come together toward the end of the book for a really feverish last act (the final set piece in particular was like !!!!!!) Written in the late 30s, it’s a study in the grimey fringes of Los Angeles, and there were parts of it that were tough to read. It’s racist and unkind toward women — there’s an element of rape fantasy that I hated — but I did overall like the book even though this is not my version of Hollywood. An interesting ending always gets me (my brother recommended this and i sent him a voice note with my reactions moments after finishing it over the weekend that he has yet to respond to).
This is my version of LA tho—
It was one of those blue and lavender nights when the luminous color seems to have blown over the scene with an airbrush. Even the darkest shadows held some purple.
Some books I recently added to my Want to Read list—
Best Offer Wins by Marisa Kashino - this is being adapted into a show at hulu with greta lee starring. set in DC, a 37 year old publicist eager to get her marriage and family planning back on track, becomes obsessed with buying the perfect house before it goes public on the market — her obsession includes casually stalking the homeowners. LOL!
Katabasis by R.F. Kuang - pronounced like calabasas, from the author of yellow face, this is very much giving ninth house/hell bent and i’m so here for it— two graduate magic students at cambridge journey to hell to save their professor.
Slow Burn Summer by Josie Silver - i am a huge fan of silver’s one day in december and though none of her other novels have yet to hit for me like that one did, i still have faith! and i love this premise — a literary agent’s client refuses to promote their romance book that’s sure to be a hit, so he hires an actress to play them, and, presumably, sparks fly.
Off Course by Michelle Huneven - i cannot for the life of me remember what podcast i heard someone talking about this book on, but whoever they were, their rave about this author’s writing stuck with me! set in the 80s, a PhD candidate moves into her parents’ cabin in the Sierras to write her dissertation, but she finds herself getting wrapped up in the mountain community. there’s also a bear.
What I’m Writing
I’m feeling a kind of peace about Novel 2. I put a lot into those pages (a lot, a lot LOL) and I got it to a place that I felt good about, and all I can do is try to find it a home, and if it doesn’t find a home, I will be devastated, but I will continue writing the next one.
I’m back to the bullet point stage of Novel 3 and trying to be patient with myself about the not writing. There is a lot going on in the world, and if I need to just lay on my couch and watch five episodes of Scandal back to back, that’s OKAY! I am doing the best I can right now.
Though I’m not where I want to be with Novel 3, I continue to write “poems.” My parents got me this artsy notebook with thick pages for Christmas a couple years ago, and I have now designated it as a kind of poetry journal.
Writing is writing is writing, as I believe they say.
A little poem—
a ghostly green highway, paved
with your right hand on my thigh,
the other steering us forward.
always, summer.
numb to the feeling then,
the feeling now like
a clink
in my chest, a coin dropped
into a glass jar.
a small price for a slice.
if the coin was in my hand,
i would not wish for a do over,
i would not wish the time back.
maybe, i would wish for it to pack up—deliberate, sullen,
yearning for my attention,
not knowing how to ask,
until it realizes all at once—
summer is over.
it has no choice,
but
to
go.
That’s all from me this week! Stay tuned.